You often come across different headlines like “How to seduce a man?”, “The best positions for orgasm”, “The importance of foreplay before sex”, but you forget that the time after sex can be one of the most important moments not just in your sex life, but in relationships in general.
In addition to the fact that sex serves to create generations, its main effect is to strengthen the relationship in the couple. If the sex is good, then many will agree that after sex there is maximum relaxation, a sense of security, a rush of tenderness towards the partner, and a bunch of other pleasant emotions and sensations.
Thanks to a study by psychologist Andrea Meltzer, conducted among 215 newlyweds, it turned out that the feeling of satisfaction and closeness lasts for the next 24 and 48 hours after sex. This study is important because it highlights and integrates other research in the field that says that sex is not just a pleasure here and now, it helps strengthen the emotional bonds between partners.
After the sexual act, both partners are as calm as possible, and the woman may begin to worry “how not to say or do something” that could destroy the idyll. In order not to spoil the pleasant feeling after sex, psychologist Ekaterina Lukashkina warns of six common mistakes:
You’re being too blunt
There is an absolutely logical explanation for why you want to be frank after sex, and contrary to the stereotype, this applies not only to women but also to men (unless, of course, he fell asleep before the conversation). In support of this, there are many studies that talk about the maximum emancipation of a person after intercourse. However, openness has its limits. Certainly, someone not worth mentioning is an ex-partner. And this rule applies to both sides!
When all the masks are removed, the woman may start to worry about whether it’s time to take a shower, urgently look for something to cover herself up with because she’s uncomfortable lying naked, or whether she’s looking for a reason to talk… Everything can lead to anxiety. Try to feel why this is happening, what happened during sex or before that you can’t relax.
You criticize yourself for your feelings
Sex usually evokes positive feelings and emotions in both partners. But there are times when a man or woman can be extremely agitated or whiny. This is called postcoital dysphoria.
A study found that more than 4% of men regularly experience postcoital dysphoria after sex, and 41% of men experience negative feelings for some unknown reason after sex as well. There can be many reasons for this, not only internal conflicts but also the normal variety of human reactions to sexual experience.
If you or your partner are experiencing something similar, it is important not to devalue them or yourself, but to accept these feelings and ask your partner about it “here and now”. If this happens regularly, you should consult a psychologist.
You immediately move on to something else
Women are quite active after sex. They can mentally multitask. It will be bad enough if you start a conversation on the phone with a friend or chat in an instant messenger. It will surely come across as rejection and disrespect to him.
You fall asleep separately
Perhaps it is common in your couple to sleep apart for certain reasons or simply because it is convenient for you. But it is worth remembering that after sex there is a feeling of maximum intimacy, so you should not immediately run to your room after making love. If possible, it is better to stay for the night and be together enjoying the moment.
You look for flaws in yourself
Admit to yourself that you recognized some things from the beginning of the material!
First: you are afraid of making a mistake and of not stopping to like your partner.
Second: you want to avoid mistakes, make sure you haven’t made them to protect yourself in the future.
Behind the first and second reason is the fear of rejection. Sometimes a woman may feel that there is something wrong with her, that a man does not like sex, or that she is not good enough. In this connection, the compensatory mechanism of our psyche works, a desire to please appears, and this helpfulness is often excessive. For example, a woman can think about how she can still entertain a man after sex, how to speak properly, how best to lie down, and what to offer. All this speaks to a lack of confidence…
We are all somewhat insecure, even the most successful girl or woman is insecure in this or that situation.